Hi, welcome to Taurus Rising!
Where am I going?
August 3rd, 2009 by taurusrising.net received 6 Comments »From the very beginning of the short life of my blog, I decided that Taurus Rising would only track whatever I learned about in astrology, Tarot, or developing intuition skills. And then, I found myself overwhelmed with information. Overwhelmed with so many choices. Overwhelmed with this wealth of new found knowledge. So, I decided to write this entry because it has to deal with everything I’m learning and how I’m transitioning into all of this.
Right now, I find myself absolutely lost. I’m feeling a little detached from everyone and everything. I’m not sure what’s going up in the stars (other than the lunar eclipse on Wednesday) and I have been meditating a lot (once or twice a day). Maybe I need to be grounded? Maybe I just need to relax. Whatever it is, I have to take a little break.
I am sad because I feel like I’m losing a part of me. At the same time, I need to do some house cleaning. There are so many things right now, that I feel aren’t “me” anymore. An example is: I went to college and majored in computer science. During that time, I absolutely loved computers and doing technical things. Now? Not so much. I cringe whenever I think about programming and coding. I have no interest in it anymore. I used to love fixing computers and rebuilding machines. I was into learning about computer specifications, what kind of video card, what kind of memory board, etc. I am not interested in that stuff anymore. I want to do something outside of technical stuff, but I really can’t because it’s my background and I guess I’m good at it. I just have no drive to do it at all. I think that happens to a lot of people, though…
But the part of me that I’m losing… I’m not even sure what that part is. There is a little void, I can feel something is missing, and I don’t know how to make things better. I know that I’m heading into a completely new direction and I don’t know where I’m going. I’ve always vouched for myself being as a person of change, but like the Taurus stereotype, it takes a while to get me going. Change terrifies me, especially when I don’t know what I’m leaping into.
At the same time, I feel like I’m seeing the greater picture, the grander scheme of things. The problem of that is, I have to let go of some things that I’m attached to. Specifically, there are some people I’m attached to… and unfortunately, with them in my life, I’m unable to focus and concentrate on “the new me”. I think that they are holding me back because they are holding onto the old image of me and aren’t really accepting of Me 2.0
I have a few interesting things going on in my chart right now. I think that the biggest influence going on is Pluto conjunct my natal Neptune. I read somewhere that during this period, it can change a lot of your views on things. This transit even includes “soul-searching”. I feel like I want to be alone to figure things out, but at the same time my Sun in the 11th house is craving for some interaction with others.
Luckily, I’ve met a wonderful support of people on Twitter… it’s nice to have new friends and people to talk with about my new interests. I <3 you guys. :)
Okay, that concludes my blog entry for the evening. I didn’t intend for it to sound so emo. The bottom line is, I need to get my feet back on the ground, figure out what I’m doing with all of this… and that is the reason I will be taking a temporary break.
No related posts.
Posted under: General
This all sounds so familiar, Kat. My life has been one of so much transformation. I think we do grieve the "old me" as we move into the "new me(s)". The ability to "be with" not knowing where things are headed allows us to change, but when things move too fast it can be disorienting. I think you're right about the grounding. Teo made some great suggestions. Meditation can bring a lot of transformation and I feel it's important to balance it with things that keep us grounded. Wishing you well!
Hi Mary!
Thank you for visiting my site! I'm honored to have you here. :) I've had to step away from some things – I think I may have been meditating too much, so my head was in the air… so I definitely needed to "regroup" and ground myself.
Thank you everyone for the encouraging words. I really appreciate it. :) It’s funny you mentioned to get a massage, Teo. I was able to get one today and it made such a big difference in my energy!
And welcome to my blog! It’s nice to see new commenters on here… and you too, Alicia! <3
From one Taurus rising to another. . .I feel it too.
I don’t know where I’m heading either just that I’m very far away from were I started. At this point in my life I’ve learned to listen to Divine Guidance and do whatever my intuition instructs me to do.
Kat,
I just discovered your blog thanks to @thetarotlady on Twitter. If you don’t mind a stranger jumping into the conversation, I have a few thoughts I’d like to share.
I think your impulse to get grounded is a good one. From my personal experience, something as simple as a long walk or spending some time with my hands in the dirt can make a world of difference in how I see things. Too often, the spiritual seeker gets lost in the ether, trapped in a whirlwind of ideas, concepts, numbers and symbols.
Air-stuff.
You need some Earth-stuff.
Recommendations:
1. Re-pot a plant.
2. Bake some bread.
3. Clean. With intention, and with love.
4. Get a massage.
5. Be in your body.
Ultimately, the answers to these probing questions are all inside of you. You know, at a deep, instinctive level, exactly what you should be doing. And, you’re exactly where you need to be right now.
So, be there.
I wish you the best in your journey with Astrology and the Tarot, and in all of your spiritual seeking.
Blessings,
Teo
(((KAT)))
Send me a message if you want to talk about anything at all. I’m sorry to hear you are having such a tough time. I can empathize, for sure.
It’s tough for us Pisces, because all we want to do is merge, but society wants us to be individuals, to make solid choices, to BE something or someone…when we are who we are and we can be whoever we want at any given moment. It’s confusing on a daily basis.
I hope that made some sense. I hope you’re ok. Lots of love to you. xoxo